Books

Heartbreak is a triple loss At first, the physical absence of the partner seems like the only cause of our suffering and one is under the illusion that if he or she would only come back, all would be fine again. It is truly an illusion because there are three absentees in the drama of heartbreak. The first is the beloved, and even if that person were to come back, the second, the person you were with the beloved, and the third, the person you were for the beloved, are never coming back. This triple loss explains the loss of a sense of identity. Individuals suffering heartbreak have nightmares of losing their nametag, passport, car keys, of being lost in a strange city, of walking in a cemetery and reading their name on a funeral monument, of having no voice, no head, no body, of coming to work and somebody else's name is on the door of their office, or coming home and their mother asks them to introduce themselves... all are metaphors of an estrangement from the self. The only solution is to become somebody else. Philosophers have argued that our identity is a psychosocial construct, a compromise between what our parents want, what society wants, and what we think we want. Since identity is a construct, it follows that is can be deconstructed. The myth of the divine rights of kings is a perfect example of a deconstructionist attack on a value that was no longer sustainable. Heartbreak is a similar demolition derby of an obsolete identity. The lover, a mirror who used to reflect a positive image of yourself, now reflects nothing, or if it does, it is a tarnished, ugly picture that communicates, "sorry, but you are no longer adequate." The identity built to attract and relate to the partner is a dead cable connector. Heartbreak is such a rough deconstruction that it is felt at first like a death of the self. There is a word for that feeling: alienation, which means a separation from oneself. This book helps you answer the following question: "if I cannot be who I was, who can I become?" Invent, discover, imagine, try, and become that new person. Table of Content CHAPTER 1 BYPASS YOUR SYNAPTIC BUNDLE OF FEAR The three actors in your drama Your crocodile psychology: grab, grip, hit There you are my crocodile! Your puppy psychology: beg, whine, wait. Your regression to a preverbal vulnerability Attachment theories There you are my puppy! The wolf separated from the pack the broken heart syndrome The art of consoling Neuromania and Darwinitis Is it in my genes, my brain or my soul? Becoming a wise human The inner and the outer CHAPTER 2 NEUROSCIENCE AND THE UNCONSCIOUS My life in a copter The end of the behaviorist dominance You can't repair the past The slave complex No ego, no Self, no identity. CHAPTER 3 WHAT YOU MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU I am a champion procrastinator I am dependent but won't admit it I feel inadequate but cover it with uppityness Unload some projections CHAPTER 4 AH! JEALOUSY Rivalry can be a factor of evolution You don't own the partner Beware of psychic inflation There is a way around jealousy Is it envy or jealousy? CHAPTER 5 RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION The realm of the invisible Heartbreak is a triple loss CHAPTER 6 NARCISSISM: A TREND AND A CURSE The rage of a baby Learn to smell a narcissist The narcissist as a self-loathing individual The narcissist as a self-adoring individual The trophy partner: narcissism by another name Monica, the figid beauty queen The cashmere label

This thesis describes the theory and methods of an original somatic approach to movement education. Based on the five Elements of ancient philosophical tradition, Elemental Movement integrates somatic and alchemical principles, processes, and practice. It employs movement as the primary vehicle for a wide range of personal explorations, using the Elements both as a framework and as a set of symbolic tools.

What if someone told you that you could discover the source of all your problems and address them head on in fewer than five minutes a day? How about if they told you that reconstructing your attitude would actually change your life? Jude Bijou's comprehensive blueprint will teach you to:

cope with family members' unsolicited advice

cure indecision with your intuition

deal with fear by expressing it physically

create closeness by truly talking and listening

improve your social life

increase staff morale in just five minutes a day

handle sarcasm by visualizing it flying by

carve out more time for yourself by clarifying your priorities

ask for a raise and get it

stop fighting via two easy steps

cure kids' tantrums constructively

You can integrate Attitude Reconstruction into your daily routine, regardless of your spiritual path, cultural background, age, or education. With practical tools and real-life examples, this book can help you stop settling for sadness,

What might you discover about male-female relationships if you took a mixed group into the wilderness to live together for several days and explore their gender differences? That's what authors Aaron Kipnis and Elizabeth Herron wanted to know. So they organized just such a trip. This book tells you what happened. As exciting as a fast-paced novel, WHAT WOMEN AND MEN REALLY WANT takes you along to the centre of their camp as the participants encounter runaway horses and a group of macho hunters . But when neat and well-ordered sociological norms collapse, unexpected harsh realities emerge. You will find this both an entertaining read and also a suggestion of how we can all enjoy more whole and fulfilling relationships.

The work of Sigmund Freud has penetrated almost every area of literary theory and cultural studies, as well as contemporary culture. Pamela Thurschwell explains and contextualises psychoanalytic theory and its meaning for modern thinking. This updated second edition explores developments and responses to Freud's work, including:

Encouraging and preparing readers to approach Freud's original texts, this guide ensures that readers of all levels will find Freud accessible, challenging and of continued relevance.

How does the spirit come into clinical work? Through the analyst? In the analysand's work in the analysis? What happens to human destructiveness if we embrace a vision of non-violence? Do dreams open us to spiritual life? What is the difference between repetition compulsion and ritual? How does religion feed terrorism? What happens if analysts must wrestle with hate in themselves? Do psychotherapy and spirituality compete, or contradict, or converse with each other? What does religion uniquely offer, beyond what psychoanalysis can do, to our surviving and thriving? This book abounds with such important questions and discussions of their answers.

In The Question of Lay Analysis he set forth his views on the issue. The book makes its point energetically and in addition serves as an informal popularization of psychoanalytic ideas.

Aware that his Interpretation of Dreams was a long and difficult book, Freud decided that he must offer a version that would be briefer and easier to follow.

On Dreams was the result. He succeeded admirably: the theory of the dream as distorted wish fulfillment is there, as are, in full deployment, the mechanisms of the dream work. Without doubt, Freud was always his own best popularizer.

Since 1955, moving from early work in psychopharmacology to studies of clinical method and the psychiatric schools, Leston Havens has been working toward a general theory of therapy. It often seems that twentieth-century psychiatry, sect-ridden, is a Tower of Babel, as Havens once characterized it. This book is the distillation of long years of thought and practice, a bold yet modest attempt to delineate an "integrated psychotherapy."

The boldness of this effort lies in its author's willingness to recognize the best that each school has to offer, to describe it cogently, and to integrate it into a full response to today's new kind of patient. Descriptive or medical psychiatry, psychoanalysis, interpersonal or behavioristic psychiatry, empathic or existential therapy-viewed in metaphors, respectively, of perceiving, thinking, managing, feeling-all have useful contributions to make to contemporary methods of treatment. But how? Havens's modest answer is through appropriate language, and he demonstrates exactly what he means: when to ask questions, when to direct or draw back, when to sympathize.

Practitioners now must deal with less dramatic, but more stubborn, problems of character and situation; lack of purpose, isolation, submissiveness, invasiveness, deep yet vague dissatisfaction. Some kind of human presence must be discovered in the patient, and Havens gives concrete, absorbing examples of ways of "speaking to absence," of making contact. The emphasis is on verbal technique, but the underlying broad, humane intent is everywhere evident. It is no less than to transform passivity, by means of disciplined therapeutic concern, into a state of being Human.

-- The Women's Review of Books

In the manner of the eighteenth-century philosophe, Freud argued that religion and science were mortal enemies. Early in the century, he began to think about religion psychoanalytically and to discuss it in his writings. ?The Future of an Illusion ?(1927), Freud's best known and most emphatic psychoanalytic exploration of religion, is the culmination of a lifelong pattern of thinking.

Has Sigmund Freud been seriously misunderstood? The author of The Uses of Enchantment argues that mistranslation has distorted Freud's work in English and led students to see a system intended to cooperate flexibly with individual needs as a set of rigid rules to be applied by external authority. This provocative argument cuts through the myths to reveal a greater, more compassoinate and also far more disturbing figure.

"VITAL...an eloquent attempt to reclaim Freud's reputation in America." --THE NEW YORK TIMES

"Lucid and provocative." --THE LOS ANGELES TIMES BOOK REVIEW